I don't need them, since I don't plan to buy another kayak (unless you need two). So come back and pick them up when you can. They are just a reminder that whatever I have you can come and take, and that bothers me. So, please come back and get the paddles.
I assume you are an outdoors person, because you stole one of our bikes last year. Hey, "Play 60," right? Anyway, you'll need the paddles in order to get any real enjoyment out of the kayak. And I think there's a life jacket in the little fore hatch of the boat you took. You'll be ready to go, once you come back and get the paddles.
Not sure what else I have that you might want. I noticed when you broke in a couple of months ago, you were trying to disconnect our old Nintendo Wii before you apparently got called away on a bigger job. It's an old Wii, first generation I think, but if you'd like to pick that up while you're here, I'll just set it outside. I also have a VCR and an AM/FM clock radio that I've been meaning to donate. I'll leave those out too. That's assuming you come back and get the paddles.
I hope the stuff you're stealing from us is enriching your life in some way. But to be frank, the whole business where you just come by every so often is a little unnerving for my wife and angering for me. I worked hard for many years. Maybe my job wasn't as difficult as walking the streets with a 40, looking for things people leave unlocked in their backyards, but hey, it had a pension plan. I was even able to retire early, though now I am considering picking up some part time work, since I am supporting you also. Anyway, to calm my wife's nerves, could you please let us know ahead of time when you plan to come back and get the paddles?
If you do come back, you may notice some changes. First, I fixed the broken window latch (thanks for letting me know how easy it was to open that window and climb in). Also, I put a lock on the shed. Only a couple of bikes left in there now, but that's where the paddles are. So, you may need to borrow a pair of bolt-cutters from someone's garage, when you come back to get the paddles.
One other thing you may notice is better lighting. I thought it might be a deterrent, but my wife says it will probably just help you to better see what you're taking. Oh, and I put some alarms on the doors and windows, kind of a musical, ding dong, jet engine loud, 180 decibel siren. When you hear it you should probably hurry, because thanks to your repeated diligence in pointing out my lack of security, I now keep my pistol loaded and I removed that darn trigger lock that was slowing me down. Just something else to be aware of, if you come back to get the paddles.
Finally, I hope you are not camera shy. I put up a couple of the outdoor type to kind of get an idea of what happens while I'm asleep. The image is quite good, even at night. But don't worry. As long as you keep taking just one thing at a time, I don't think the police will post your picture anywhere that your family might see it. I'm pretty sure things worth $500 or less aren't going to justify a manhunt either. I'll probably be the only one that sees it. Maybe I'll recognize you around town and we can formally meet. We could talk about kayaking. That is, if you come back to get the paddles.
Seems like a lot, but it's a fairly simple checklist really. Just remember bolt-cutters, ear plugs, a sturdy bag for all the old electronics, and a pretty thick coat (or even better, Kevlar). Oh, yeah, don't forget to smile. And please, come back and get the paddles.
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